News
Apostle John Pads Short Third Letter With Extra-Wide Margins, 22-Point Font
5+ hour, 27+ min ago (29+ words) EPHESUS " Struggling to stretch his third letter to the recommended length, the Apostle John cleverly used 1. 5-spacing, extra wide margins, and wrote in a generous 22-point font....
In Spite Of Novelty Sign, God Declines To Bless This Mess
1+ week, 1+ day ago (29+ words) TAMPA, FL " Heavenly sources have announced that the Almighty has declined to "Bless This Mess" in spite of the presence of a novelty sign requesting that He do so....
Woman Healed Of Liberalism After Touching Golden Trump Statue
1+ week, 2+ day ago (30+ words) MIAMI, FL " A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed a woman who had touched it was miraculously healed of her liberalism....
Theologians Struggling To Explain How Loving God Could Allow Ohio
2+ week, 5+ day ago (28+ words) COLUMBUS, OH " The world's leading theologians admitted this week that they have been collectively struggling to find a good explanation for why a loving God could allow Ohio....
Newly Arrived Boomer Tells Heavenly Sound Guy The Worship Music Is Too Loud
2+ week, 6+ day ago (32+ words) HEAVEN " Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven's sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud....
7 Inspiring Scripture Quotes To Lift You Up
3+ week, 4+ day ago (164+ words) When your soul yearns for inspiration, there is no better place to turn than the Word of God. Be lifted up by these seven amazing quotes from Scripture: 7 Inspiring Scripture Quotes To Lift You Up When your soul yearns for…...
Kid's Crappy Sunday School Drawing Apparently Pleasing To Jesus
3+ week, 5+ day ago (190+ words) LINDALE, TX " Surprising many, a preacher at New Wine Community Church held up a three-year-old child's crappy Sunday school drawing and declared that it was pleasing to Jesus. "I tell you, that unless you draw with the same heart as…...
Evangelical Church Architect Fired For Suggesting Steeple
3+ week, 6+ day ago (250+ words) OKLAHOMA CITY, OK " A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was reportedly fired and escorted from the construction site after suggesting the building include a steeple. Architect Dan Beige had been hired to…...
New Evidence Reveals Judas Received His 30 Pieces Of Silver From The SPLC
3+ week, 6+ day ago (206+ words) JERUSALEM " In a surprising new discovery that coincides with recent news headlines, biblical scholars confirmed that Judas Iscariot likely received his 30 pieces of silver from the Southern Poverty Law Center. The new insight came as the result of theologians and…...
Atheist Missionary Wonders If You Have A Few Minutes To Talk About Nothing
1+ mon, 4+ day ago (263+ words) PORTLAND, OR " Local residents were greeted Saturday morning by an atheist missionary who politely asked if they had a few moments to talk about nothing. The missionary, Brent Miller, was part of a new outreach program dedicated to spreading the…...